The Ripple Effect
by kippersvindaloo
Summary: An AU resolution to the series 6 "Out of Time" cliffhanger
1. Not Dead

AN: This story is my AU follow-up to the infamous series 6 "Out of Time" cliffhanger. Thanks again to everyone who's given me feedback; it's always appreciated.

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and I'm not making any money from this, so please don't sue me.

**The Ripple Effect**

The first thing Rimmer noticed was that he hadn't been blown up. The second thing he noticed was that the ship hadn't been blown up, and that there was no sign of the time drive or its smoking remains. Lister, Cat, and Kryten were lying on the cockpit floor, unmoving, and Rimmer felt his stomach lurch. _I didn't do it. I couldn't save them. _What was the point of doing something incredibly brave if it didn't change things?

Lister coughed suddenly, jolting to life as he took in huge lungfuls of air. He sat up, looking disconcerted. "Rimmer? Didn't I just die?"

"I think," Rimmer said, his voice a little wobbly, "we all did. And the ship blew up."

Lister blinked. "Then…how are we okay?"

Kryten opened his eyes. "I believe I may have an answer."

"I think I mussed my hair," Cat said.

"Everyone's okay?" Rimmer said, feeling infinitely relieved. He hadn't saved only himself. Rimmer suspected he might've done something drastic if he had only managed to save himself; a life alone on Starbug would've been something very close to hell.

"No, everyone is not okay! Didn't you just hear me say I mussed my hair?" Cat said indignantly.

"I believe," Kryten said, "that somehow, the destruction of the time drive…"

"You were dead by the time I blew it up. How did you know it was destroyed?" Rimmer asked.

"I assumed it had been destroyed because we're all alive," Kryten said.

"Wait a second," Lister said. "You blew it up?"

"Yes," Rimmer said, feeling profoundly uncomfortable.

"You didn't just try to run away?" Lister asked.

"We're in the middle of deep space! Where could I go, outside for a stroll?" Rimmer asked. _Time to change the subject. _"You were saying, Kryten?"

"Somehow," Kryten said, "the destruction of the time drive was like throwing a pebble in a pool, but instead of creating ripples of water, it created ripples of time. We must have caught one of those ripples and been carried backwards."

"So where in time are we?" Lister asked.

Kryten made some calculations. "Approximately one million years earlier in time than we were, sir."

"So that's two million years instead of three?" Lister said. "Smeg…people might still be alive! I mean, not people I know, but people in general. Humans."

"Please," Rimmer said, rolling his eyes. "Can't we go five minutes without trotting out the 'other people in the galaxy—oh goody!' speech?"

"I happen to think it's pretty important that my species might not be extinct yet," Lister said. "And maybe if you were a member of the same species, you'd think so too."

"What difference does it make? In a million years, they'll all be dead, every last smegging one of them," Rimmer said.

He'd been in a good mood before—why did Lister have to ruin everything by planning to go off and rejoin the human race? It was a place Rimmer couldn't possibly follow. He'd just barely gotten Lister to treat him like a person (although not entirely, judging by Lister's last comment), and that had taken years. Most likely, the people on Earth, if there were any, would have a quick laugh at Rimmer and then shut him off for good without a thought. It was all very well for Lister to plan his return, but Rimmer didn't know what he would do if Lister really did go home, because Rimmer had no real home to go to.

"Way to look at the bright side, Rimmer," Lister said. "Next, could you maybe spit on Cat and kick Kryten in the groinal socket?"

"Holographic spit does not go with these lapels," Cat said, pointing to his jacket.

"We blow up," Lister continued, ignoring the Cat, "and we're alive. Don't you think that deserves some kind of celebration at least before you start saying the sky is falling?"

"Hurrah. We're alive," Rimmer said with little enthusiasm. "Nothing has changed, Lister."

"I have," Lister said, staring at Rimmer. "And I thought you might've. But I guess that was just me being stupid." Lister brushed by Rimmer and left the cockpit.

_Well done, Rimsy. Only you can turn saving a ship and its crew into an argument that makes everyone miserable._

Rimmer slipped into his customary seat and hoped no one would talk to him the rest of the day.


	2. AlterLister

Lister entered the mess. He wasn't really hungry; he just wanted somewhere he could be alone a little while.

_Every time, _Lister thought. _Every time there's even a hint of hope in my life, Rimmer has to stomp all over it. _Lister didn't know whether it was due to a perverse streak in Rimmer's nature or if the hologram really and truly saw things in so bleak a light.

Lister turned to check the contents of the cupboard, and suddenly found himself with his arms full of dishes, which he dropped before he realized what he'd done. "Oh."

"I don't believe this," said a familiar voice behind him.

Lister turned and saw that the person behind him was…himself? _Oh no. No more alter egos. Please. Anything but that._ "I'm sorry."

"All the plates," alter-Lister said. "Not just a few, but all the smegging plates."

"It was an accident," Lister said. "I didn't mean to…"

Alter-Lister reached out and slapped Lister sharply on the face. "I don't want your excuses, you piece of hard-light scum!"

_Hard-light? Oh, NO. _Lister looked down at himself and found he was wearing a blue quilted jacket and black trousers.

"Look," Lister said, "you've got it all wrong."

Alter-Lister leaned in dangerously close to Lister. "Oh, have I? Have I really?"

Lister swallowed hard, his voice getting high-pitched and uncertain. "No?"

"Pick them up," Alter-Lister said roughly. "And then wash the floor. Or else you'll get worse than me hand." He stalked out of the room.

Lister looked at the floor, but there were no broken plates there anymore. His clothes were back to normal too.

"What in smeg was that?" Lister said aloud. It certainly wasn't anything that had happened. Did that mean it was going to happen? _But I don't treat Rimmer that way, do I? I mean, I insult him sometimes, but I've never hit him or anything._

Maybe he had been a little rough on Rimmer. Lister decided to apologize.


	3. Cat's Dream

Cat was taking a nap and had no idea why he was suddenly standing up in the middle of the room. "Hey! Which one of you turkeys moved me?"

Lister glanced at him. "Nobody moved you, Cat."

Cat looked around the cockpit. "Yeah, but-" There were four people present, but Rimmer was missing, and—wait a minute. "Who is that?"

The new person turned around. Although Cat had only seen a few, he recognized the new person immediately. It was a woman.

"Cat, come on. Stop playing," Lister said.

"Tell me that's not Captain Craven," Cat said. If a beautiful woman like that was Rimmer on the inside, it would be a cruel joke of nature.

"It's Kochanski. You know that," Lister said.

Cat dimly remembered something about Lister dating Kochanski, but how was she alive? And how was she aboard this ship?

Suddenly, Cat felt like he was falling. When he opened his eyes, he was in original nap position. He sprang to his feet, looking around in confusion.

"What's the matter with you?" Rimmer asked.

"You're back!" Cat said. "Where did Kochanski go?"

"Kochanski?" Rimmer asked.

Cat nodded, pointing to one of the front seats. "She was sitting right there."

"Kochanski was dead long before your entire feeble-minded genus came into existence," Rimmer said.

"But I was just standing up and-" Maybe it had been a dream. Cat did have those once in a while. But this one had felt so real.

_I guess it doesn't matter, _Cat thought, settling back into nap position. _Things are okay like this, but I won't be disappointed at all if that Kochanski person comes back—aoww!_


	4. Interrupted Conversation

Rimmer didn't even look up when Lister came back.

"Hey, Rimmer," Lister began.

Excellent. Lister, king of the monosyllables, wanted to have a conversation. Rimmer could almost smell the antipathy in the air.

"One moment please, Lister. Let me get my boxing gloves on first," Rimmer said, looking up. "Now. What was it you wanted?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," Lister said. "I don't think I realized what things were like for you."

"What?" This wasn't making any sense to Rimmer.

"I mean, I tease you and all that, but I hope I'm not actually awful to you," Lister said.

"Lister, what is this about?" Rimmer asked. "You haven't been reading those 'Apologize Your Way to Health' books, have you?"

"No," Lister said. "See, Rimmer, I've-"

Suddenly, Rimmer was in the mess hall with Kryten, watching as—was that him guzzling a glass of some noxious-looking green stuff?

"Mister Rimmer!" Kryten said, aghast. "What are you doing?"

The other Rimmer turned around, looking ashamed but not ashamed enough to mind having done whatever it was he'd done. "Hello, Kryten. Lister."

_But if I'm over there… _Rimmer looked down to see grungy clothes that could only belong to one person. He looked at Other Rimmer. "What happened?"

"He's just taken the last dose of the antiviral treatment, sir," Kryten said.

"Of course I did. I don't want to get infected," Other Rimmer said.

Kryten shook his head. "Mister Rimmer, with your dishonest actions, you've just ensured the death of Mister Lister!"

"He's what?" Rimmer squeaked.

"Well, make another batch!" Other Rimmer said.

"There's no way to do that, sir," Kryten said.

"I can't die. I'm already dead," Rimmer said. He couldn't die twice, could he? Surely not.

"Oh, dear," Kryten said. "The hallucinations have set in already."

"I'm not hallucinating," Rimmer said. "I'm not Lister. I'm…" He swayed on his feet, suddenly dizzy, and then he pointed at Other Rimmer. "You have no idea what you've done! You killed you by killing me, and when you're me, you'll know it and wish you could be you!" He felt nauseated, and leaned forward, clutching his stomach.

"Rimmer, are you all right?"

Rimmer was hunched over at his station in Starbug. He looked up to see Lister frowning at him.

"What was I doing?" Rimmer asked, straightening.

"I was just talking to you and all of a sudden you doubled up," Lister said.

"And what were you saying?" Rimmer asked.

"I was saying I'd had a really weird experience in the mess hall where I turned into you," Lister said.

"Did you drink the green stuff?" Rimmer asked.

Lister looked confused. "No."

"Because you can have it. I don't want it. Honestly," Rimmer said.

"Rimmer, what are you talking about?" Lister asked.

"I've just been you for a few minutes," Rimmer said. "I—I mean, Rimmer—was drinking some kind of antidote for something while I—but I was you—was dying of whatever the antidote was for." He paused. "I'm not sure that made sense, but you get the idea."

"That's funny," Lister said, "because when I was you, I dropped some plates, and the me who wasn't me came in and was really nasty to you. Me."

"I see," Rimmer said, though he wasn't sure he did.

"Do you think we're seeing future echoes again?" Lister asked. "Except instead of watching 'em, we're in 'em?"

Rimmer hoped not. "But why wouldn't we be ourselves in the future? Why would we be each other?"

"I was myself," Cat said.

Lister turned. "Cat, you saw them too?"

"I thought I was dreaming," Cat said, "but I guess not."

"Kryten's gone to repair a wall conduit," Lister said. "Maybe he'll know."


	5. Exposition

Kryten nodded. "I hadn't thought about it in this context before, but it certainly makes sense."

"What does?" Rimmer asked.

"Well, if you remember my pebble analogy, it's simply carrying it one step further," Kryten said. "The time ripples are the surface result of the pebble, but I neglected to take depth into consideration."

"Depth?" Lister said.

"When a pebble travels downward in a body of water, it temporarily displaces the water that used to be in the space it's in now. Since we were at the point of origin of the pebble drop, or the time drive explosion, it stands to reason that we would be moved not only by the time ripples but dimensionally displaced, albeit temporarily, by the explosion or pebble itself."

"So you're saying we've all been temporarily bounced into and out of other dimensions?" Rimmer asked.

"Yes, sir," Kryten said. "The worst of it should be over now. There may be a few hiccups later, but nothing as lengthy as what you've already been through."

"So the things we saw," Lister said. "You're saying they're not going to happen?"

"Not in this universe, no, sir," Kryten said.

Lister was glad of that, and Rimmer looked gladder, though Cat looked oddly disappointed. Lister decided not to ask Cat what he had seen—it would only make it worse knowing it wouldn't happen.


	6. At Night

"I would hope, Lister, that I wouldn't do that," Rimmer said.

"Do what?" Lister asked.

"Opt to save myself if I knew I was killing you," Rimmer said.

"I wouldn't worry about it, man," Lister said. "It wasn't you."

"But it was like me," Rimmer said, "and that's what I'm worried about."

Lister understood; he had the same problem. "Rimmer? Most of the time, I'm not awful to you, am I? I mean, we make fun of each other, but it's not…"

"Does it hurt my feelings?" Rimmer asked, a hint of scorn in his words, although Lister suspected the scorn was directed at the phrase and not at him.

"I guess," Lister said.

"Lister, if every putdown actually injured me, I'd have bled to death a long time ago," Rimmer said. "Well, assuming I could actually bleed."

"It just never occurred to me that I could be a terrible person and not know it," Lister said.

"It's an odd thing to realize, isn't it?" Rimmer asked. "I'm hoping it doesn't get in the way of our hating each other too much."

Lister smiled, but then his smile faded. "Rimmer, you know I don't really hate you."

Rimmer was silent for a minute. "I hope you find them."

"Who?"

"Other people," Rimmer said. "If that's what you want."

"Thanks," Lister said.

"Now shut up and go to sleep," Rimmer said.

"Smeghead," Lister said.

"And you," Rimmer said.

Lister closed his eyes. After a moment, he discovered he was in bed with someone. Whoever-it-was dug his thumbs into Lister's shoulders, and Lister made a sound of contentment. This was a nice hiccup. He could stand a few minutes in this dimension.

"I can't stand another minute without making love to you," the person whispered.

Lister opened his eyes, rolled over, and stared into his own smiling face just before the "hiccup" disappeared.

His terrified scream woke the whole of the ship.

THE END


End file.
